Whenever i want to post on my blog, i just got tired but thoughout my journey back home, i had this long thought that had been bothering me. I've been going through a different phase of life, for this past few months, really different experience, out of my comfort zone. all, in which, i believe i never would have been. 

well, i can't say all negative about it because it had least opened up my eyes, to know, what the real world is, the real deal, people leaving in such situation. I'm blessed to have my parents and my condition of living. 

i had seriously picked up bad habits from who Im mixing, where, how and just everything that relates to the term "influence" . i don't blame anyone for my change because I'm a  firm believer of "choices have consequences" but I'm just embrassed, ashamed and importantly disappointed with myself, how I've grown to become. 

what i am not, is just a part of a journey, bur never will i make it a habit. 

I'm sorry of what i became.

you shaped me up to become such nice girl

i never swore, smoke & etc

whenever i break down and just feel like quitting, you still give me the light, the strength, the courage to keep going, cause at the end of the day, its for the better. 

i miss you, your presence, your advise. 

i still need you

lead me to the right direction just like how i did when i first met you

I cannot wait for my holidays in the december, my dad have yet to decide whether to go to USA or UK, though i always wanted to go to italy,paris or new york for the amazing artworks and talented people there but either way, USA and UK are just as great. An opportunity.

After all, I just want to get out of singapore and just experience something new. I hope it snows again!

reality check,

Im behind time with my painting. I owe 4 painting, 2 of which is still life and another of landscape.
I have yet to finish my indeisgn homework, worst still 3d visual.

I have been writing a lot in my diary now, well personal view, goals and feelings.

love life been difficult lately.rocky edge. sometimes despair, giving up but still holding on.

I have to go.

you think its just easy to get everything perfect and just act as though nothing happen, but you're just wrong love. the way they treat me still hurt deep inside though i just have to keep quiet. there are just so many times, I've been wanting to just get out from school. To quit. but i can't, i can't possibly do that. i love my subjects in school & future. 

nobody exactly understand the extreme pressure and hate

I wish it never happened.

but wishing is never good enough 

well, perhaps?

I think the one thing about me is that, I really don't take nonsense or bullshit repeatedly from boys

even though I am totally in love with him or what not.

I'm just not like every other girl who sacrifice everything at this age or just be someone's dummy 

i just am not. i don't see why some girls go to such extend to get themselves depress, making their lives complicated and having to beg their boyfriend to stay and give in to their boyfriend all the time. 

bottom line/ just get hurt over and over again

seriously.

Is there only one guy out there for you?

I might be harsh or probably incapable of loving 

but whats love when there's no respect?

no trust?

no joy?

...

fact is, do we really know what love is?

At.This.Age?

she is a real artworker .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wagn8Wrmzuc&feature=relmfu

lady gaga is different.

I like different.

thats whats lack in NAFA.

I know how i feel

but how do I put this feelings of mine in sentences.

stay strong,little heart.

I have been going through the most difficult phrase of life right now.

yesterday, I almost overdose on pills.

but alhamdulilah, i didnt.

I hope this will end soon and I have the guidance from god, himself.